Evolution is the method of natural development. Whether a dog or a car, we are permanently trying to improve on the last model. Most progress is gradual, interrupted once in a while with a major breakthrough, like walking on two legs or ABS brakes.
So just how is it that the people, which is actually top of the food chain, still needs the best part of per year when expecting? Especially if you think about that individuals usually only produce one, rather than litter, let alone eggs by the hundreds. Haven’t we advanced sufficiently by the 21st century to be able to cut this down seriously to less than 6 months?
Evidently we have not, which raises the question, you will want to? It could be easy to put the blame on the women. Pregnancy is their job after all. But seeing as they got this all-important role because the men couldn’t be trusted with it, we’re hardly in a position to point the finger.
So what’s the solution? There can definitely only be one logical conclusion. Pregnancy and childbirth take nine months because that’s just how long people need to choose a name. Let’s face it. Other species of animals have the birth process over with considerably quicker because they do not even bother, unless they’re a Disney character.
Our history indicates us that it can take a long time to come up with a sensible name, so a baby may as well stay in the womb until we do. In fact, there are lots of examples that suggest nine months still isn’t long enough and we need to extend it to a year. Just look at all the children inventively called Junior, or Bob Smith III. It’s an admission that after three-quarters of per year, this is the best they may manage.
The initial hurdle is relatives. This is very true for younger parents, who generally have more of them alive, all of whom desire to be immortalized by their grandchild inheriting their name. So unless you’re having quadruplets, you’ve got a problem حوامل.You can’t even escape with giving your son or daughter all four names, because only you can come first and top billing counts for everything. Next is the situation of the particular names grandparents have a tendency to have. It appears children’s names were a low priority when faced with the industrial revolution and the odd World War. Who would like to wind up calling their child Algernon or Gertrude?
The next problem is your wife’s side of the family. Whether or not a woman took her husband’s name in matrimony, she will likely want her family name to survive, therefore it becomes a child’s middle name, even if it isn’t one at all. Just ask Mary Carbunkle Jones.
The sole exception is if this type of person extremely rich. If calling your daughter Ethelred Stinkpants Smith puts her to the top of the inheritance heap, then so be it.
Next comes the problem of pets. Not naming them, as that’s easy and they do not care anyway. The sole guideline is to keep in mind that perhaps you are in the park 1 day shouting at your pet, so names like “Fatty” and “Loser” are bad choices.
The issue is that you can’t name your son or daughter after having a pet. You may just like the name Max, but if an uncle had a Doberman called Max, it’s only not going to happen. Charlie is a good selection for either gender — except when someone had a cat of exactly the same designation that got run over. It’s as if by choosing that name, you’re condemning your son or daughter to a fate of jumping out of a screen, chasing a bird and getting hit with a truck.
If anything, choosing a title should really be easier now. Today, just about anything is acceptable. If you can’t find an actual name you prefer, then what about a state, a nation or a continent? A good food-group will do. But despite the infinite choice, it’s amazing how many parents mess up. They don’t really think what sort of child’s name can be changed, shortened or generally twisted into something which will scar their psyche for life. How hard was school for the likes of Jeremy Attric, Philip Ness and Frank Ukwit? Who knows, perhaps if he hadn’t been called Adolf, things could have been different.